Low self esteem and lack of self confidence are two of the most common issues that people need help with.
How to improve your self – esteem. Self esteem is fundamentally how you feel about yourself overall; largely based on experiences you have had throughout your life and self perception.
Self confidence is how you best use your abilities to overcome given situations.
Low Self Esteem
“I’m just not good enough.”
This negative self analysis and self talk can become a common barrier to moving forward and accomplishing or achieving. It can lead to low self esteem and may even lead to a serious mental health condition.
As a rule this perception of oneself has developed over time and is reinforced with constant reminders; whether from a partner, friend or boss if you are constantly reminded you start to believe it.
If you are frequently told:
- “You’re hopeless”
- “You can’t do that”
- “You’re just not good enough”
- “I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it”
Then it must confirm I am useless, right? Wrong!
Recognising these patterns or behaviours which lead to this negative self talk firstly have to be acknowledged. Secondly, decide to do something about it.
How to improve your self-esteem
- Keep a Gratitude Journal. Write down every evening before going to sleep 2 things that have positively impacted on your day. Its a proven fact that by keeping a journal will increase your state of well-being by 10%.
- Move in circles of friends or socialise in groups that only have good things to say about one another.
Forge quality friendships. The law of attraction or as Wayne Dyer explains in ‘The Power of Intention’, be part of the bigger picture.
- Focus on the times in your life when you excelled at something. Remember a time when you stood out from the crowd or you were recognised for an accomplishment or achievement. Re-live that experience; hear what you heard, see what you saw and feel what you felt.
- Write yourself a letter back when you were feeling good. Write it from the past you and in it detail what insights or learnings you had then and advice you can give to the you in the present – try it, it works!
Patricia was constantly told as a child she would never amount to much.
Patricia was one of 4. Her 3 brothers constantly stole the limelight with their sporting prowess and were high achievers on the sporting field.
Each time Patricia excelled academically she was never given the recognition it deserved.
Consequently over the years her grades dropped and the prophecy was fulfilled.
Patricia’s life was filled with self-deprecation.
Working with Patricia she soon recognised that the views that others held of her and her own negative self talk had no real foundation.
As a rule, Patricia only took notice of the negative comments. These reinforced her long held belief that she would never amount to much.
Positive comments or feedback went largely unheard – they don’t really know me.
Luckily there is a happy positive outcome for Patricia.
After 6 coaching sessions and changing her self perception she is well on the way to leading a happy and fulfilling life.