In her article for the Huffington Post, Laura Doyle gives you 6 good reasons why you should not engage a marriage counsellor, it could cost you your marriage.
The statistics speak for themselves. The details of which are in Relationship Counselling or Coaching.
Relationship or marriage coaching combined with learning new ways to relate will give you skills for various challenges throughout your marriage. It will nurture an environment of greater understanding, commitment, better communication and the ability to manage conflict.
Coaching can work even if only one of the partners shows a willingness to work at it.
What is your partners primary love language?
What does it take
My personal experience in a long term relationship has enabled me to gain a good understanding of what it really takes to create a loving caring union.
What does it take exactly?
The answer can be summed up in one word – Commitment.
- To each other
- Committed to talk
- Commitment to listen
- Commitment to the relationship/marriage process
Every relationship has challenges; financial worries, Infidelity, health problems, communication breakdown, there are numerous. Many of these both my wife and I have experienced.
The wisdom we both have gained through a variety of confronting, challenging life situations coupled with my coaching/relationship educator background allowed us both to self-coach and navigate through those tough times.
This in essence is Marriage coaching and relationship coaching at its best. My challenge is for you to do the same.
Marriage coaching skills
Improving communication skills can be learnt at any stage in the relationship, not necessarily at a crisis point.
Where coaching is different from counselling is the fact that the coach facilitates the space for the individual or couple to bring forward their ideas and create a future focus rather than spend too much uncomfortable time in the past.
An important part of communication is your ability to deliver an effective message and your partners ability to effectively receive and understand.
Good delivery of a message depends on using several skills
- Being fully present when your partner is conveying a message
- Listening with intention
- Following the conversation
- Reflecting back what has actually been conveyed
What are your shared goals and dreams?
Importance of good listening
The importance of good listening and understanding skills is reliant on a number of factors. Possessing an attitude of respect and acceptance, understanding the speakers internal view point, paraphrasing and also several other key points.
We also look at potential barriers to listening and how these can be overcome.
The ability to Self Coach
Possessing a mutual attitude of willingness and commitment to one another will strengthen the bond and lead to open and healthy discussion.
We may not agree with our partners view point but we will have learnt the skills to respect their opinion without the need to score points.
As we grow we learn.
Whether you are in a relatively new relationship and you would like to learn new skills, work on your values or understand one anothers deal-breakers; or you are already in an existing relationship and perhaps you may have developed some unhealthy habits.
Marriage coaching can help.
These are skills for life.
Contact me now to see how I can add value to your relationship.