What are relationships?
Communication is an essential ingredient in any relationship.
Relationships involve change, overtime all people change to some degree: age, work, hobbies and interests, different people come in and out of our life.
Relationship Skills need to accommodate change, they can strengthen and grow or they have the potential to wither and die.
Different levels of relationships.
- Intrapersonal level of relationship- shut your eyes for 30 seconds and try to think of nothing. You’d end up talking internally. Relationship with yourself.
- Interpersonal level of relationship – this is where you relate to others outwardly as opposed to inwardly. Their thoughts feelings and emotions and physical reactions.
- Social Context level of relationships – All relationships take place within a social context. Two people planning marriage, including their friends or family etc. Homes, work places and recreational facilities.
An important aspect of the Social Contexts is they provide rules and guidelines which have to be adhered to, expectations about appropriate and inappropriate behaviour.
All individuals exist in their subjective world of their perceptions. How you perceive yourself, your perception is your reality.
A Relationship Skills approach
Relationship skills should transcend cultural diversity.
They are basically human being skills for developing human potential.
What skills are required?
We all need to communicate with one another, unless stranded on a desert Island then you would probably end up talking with yourself.
Children that grow up in a loving nurturing environment posses skills on how to relate to other people more warmly, as opposed to a dysfunctional family where arguing and fighting are the only means of communication.
This unfortunately may be replicated in their relationships as adults in later years.
Universally as humans we share many common characteristics. We share 7 facial expressions for emotions: happiness, interest, surprise, fear, sadness, anger and disgust or contempt.
Universal values have been categorised into ten types:
- Conformity, and
Your values can come from your Family of Origin (FOO) – your biological family.
If your family values are different from your partners values then conflict may arise. Growing up were you a child who spent most of your time on your own? Was you partners family very enmeshed and did everything together?
Often when we work around our beliefs and values it can be quite an eye opener to discover how our personal beleiefs and values came about, why the differences in our relationship can be attributed to our FOO.
If you are interested in taking your relationship to a whole new level, or you wish to improve your own individual communication skills call me now and find out how I can make that happen for you – Dave Crispin
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