Marriage Counselling for Men in Perth
Marriage Counselling For Men Perth
“Marriage counselling for men? Good luck!” It’s a comment that’s all too familiar.
Men have an innate sense of wanting to try and solve the problem, fix things or offer up a solution. Men have a solution focused brain. If something is broken and they can’t fix it, then nobody can – including a broken marriage.
Most men run a mile.
As soon as counselling is mentioned when marriage problems arise, most men run a mile. The thought of sitting in front of a counsellor and ‘opening up’ about your childhood or past, sends shivers down most men’s spines.
Coaching is different. That’s why I have such a good success rate.
Yes, your past is relevant, because the knowledge you have about how to ‘show-up’ in your marriage generally comes from your FOO (family of origin). Certainly, there are other influencing factors, such as: previous relationships, close family or friends, their relationships, relationships you may have followed on the tv or read about, many examples and influencers.
There is no gold standard.
Two imperfect people coming together to form an imperfect relationship. Yes, imperfect. There’s bound to be problems – and that’s okay.
When we start to unpack some of what’s happened, you soon begin to realise there are two people here. Both coming from different backgrounds, and have different wants and needs – and that’s okay as well.
When you grasp the concept that things have to change, and ‘your change’ is within your control, then we’re making some progress. Yes, I said “your change”, not anybody else’s, not, your partner, but you. You have control over your actions, your attitudes and your behaviour – you choose how you show-up in your marriage. Don’t try and change your partner – it’s a losing strategy.
Me: “so tell me John, how long do you want your marriage to last?”
John: “well, I’m in this for good, I don’t want anyone else”
Me: “okay, I hear you, what type of relationship do you want? One where the two of you just co-habitat, or one where there’s a lot of love, caring, sharing and friendship?”
The lead on from that is, “what are you prepared to do? how far are you prepared to go?”
- Fair Fighting, 10 rules to abide by.
- Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling & Criticism.
- Five areas of Intimacy – no it’s not just about sex.
- Pornography addiction
- The affair
“John, is it you just don’t want to get a divorce, or is it, you want to work to try and save your marriage?”
I can help with the latter. Don’t wait until it’s too late, call me now for a friendly chat. Dave.