Porn addiction help – Perth

 In Pornography

Breaking the cycle of pornography addiction doesn’t just focus on the behaviour or the acting out. Understanding the cause which is behind the need to act out is an integral part of the process. How did the person turn idle curiosity into a habit? Why is it some people view pornography and move on, whereas others view it and get hooked?

Trauma, attachment and opportunity

There could be a number of reasons: was it due to a traumatic incident they experienced in childhood or adulthood? Were they abused at an early age or exposed to some other form of traumatic event? Could it be they weren’t able to form a healthy attachment with their primary care givers as a child or young person. Did they suffer from neglect? Were they sent off to a boarding school or found it hard to interact with their peers? Maybe it was due to circumstances they found themselves in regarding a relationship breakdown or loss of a partner? In both trauma and attachment there has to be an opportunity to satisfy the craving.

I find someone with a pornography addiction often distorts their thinking in an attempt to excuse or justify their behaviour. Let’s face it, at some stage we all distort or bend the truth to justify to ourselves, especially if it contradicts our values or better judgement. 

When you justify your behaviour to make it seem less offensive, as if any reasonable person would have acted in the same manner. You may hear it as an explanation where someone else hears it as an excuse.

Rationalising your behaviour as if there’s a logical or rational explanation to why you act out. I haven’t done this for ages so it’s not really an addiction. “Of course I’m not the only one that looks at porn, everyone does it at some stage”

“It’s your fault, we never have sex.”

“Well if we did it more often I wouldn’t have to turn to porn, it’s your fault” Blame is another distortion which is often used. Instead of facing the issue, we shift the focus from ourselves onto another.

Using Denial to obscure reality. If I don’t get found out, then I don’t have a problem. The problem is that at some stage you’re more than likely to slip up and get found out.

Working with someone that suffers with a sex or pornography addiction is complex task, it’s a matter of breaking old habits or patterns. Change is possible depending on the level of commitment and the willingness to change. I’ve worked with many couples and individuals that are faced with either a sex or pornography addiction with good results. 

If it’s something which you would like to have a confidential chat about, please txt or call and we’ll organise a time.

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love”
BRENE BROWN